Reditt: On Being Single with Vaginismus

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    Heather34
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    Hi all. In the past, ceegee posted about the enormous response she received after posting her vaginismus story on Reddit. I found an awesome post that I wanted to share regarding overcoming vaginismus as a single woman.

    The Thread: On Being Single with Vaginismus

    I absolutely loved what one person posted:

    “Don’t focus too much on what could be and who could be coming along. Focus on the now. If you don’t feel like dilating, let it be. But don’t push it to the back because you’re hoping a partner will come along to make it something it is not. A partner will not give you the right reasons to dilate. Do you want to do it out of obligation and with the thought at the back of your mind that he could be with someone who could give him much better? Relationships complicate our primary bond with our bodies. They sometimes take away the autonomy and free will that our bodies seem to possess. You have the time and space now to understand and perfect your relationship with your own body. Use it. Don’t only look at it as a disability, or a barrier. Think about what it actually is, a physical manifestation of resistance. Explore what your body is trying to tell you. Focus on what makes penetration satisfying and pleasurable. Sex is not only about our partners. It is primarily about us. It might help you to see how your body reacts in a relationship and see if that makes things better. But in the time being, settle in, buy yourself some toys and make yourself happy, because we cannot make a partner responsible for our own happiness.”

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