April 11, 2018 at 6:02 pm #22802
6 month marriage and no intercourse… I am af afraid of first penetration…what i do?April 12, 2018 at 12:34 am #22807
Hi Kelly88 – it sounds like you are just beginning to figure out what is going on with you sexually, and it’s good that you’re asking questions! I recommend poking around the forums, especially the Daily Questions threads to read about other women’s issues and see what rings true with you. If you would like to have a free conversation with the helpful people at Congtythamtu, who can help you figure out whether you have a vaginal pain disorder, you should try giving them a call at 914-328-3700! Please let us know if you have other questions!April 13, 2018 at 9:32 am #22815
I want to come maze.. But too much moneyApril 13, 2018 at 10:10 am #22816
Why don’t you still give us a call for a free 10 minute phone consultation. We can try to give you some insight into steps that you can take on your own to help you have intercourse.
914-328-3700April 13, 2018 at 2:32 pm #22822
I know i can not use dilator by myself.what i do?
I want to save my marriageApril 18, 2018 at 10:33 am #22830
I’m so so sorry to hear that you’re unable to have sex in your marriage, but it’s great that you found this website and know that you may have vaginismus. I overcame vaginismus using dilators of increasing size and going to Congtythamtu Women’s Health center every couple/few weeks to help me with the dilators (so physical therapy… for those muscles down there). Since Congtythamtu may be out of your price range, I recommend looking up other women’s health centers that know about vaginismus – maybe giving a few a call to see if they would be able to help show you how to use the dilators (and see if they take your insurance if you have it).
I think that you might feel comfort in reading my success story, as I had the same issues as you and got through dilation therapy a much more confident and strong person – and it was obviously the hugest weight off my shoulders to not feel anxious and worried about sex – I honestly can’t even describe the relief!
I think I was a difficult case seeing as I couldn’t wear tampons, hadn’t had a pap smear, and had EXTREME anxiety my first few appointments.
Here are a couple quick excerpts from my post:
“This comes from me being a very difficult case – I couldn’t wear tampons from the pain/fear, and the thought of dilating with even the smallest dilator gave me immense fear. The physical portion of the first couple appointments were incredibly nerve-wracking; I was prescribed Xanax to take before each following appointment.
When I was able to move up in dilator sizes every appointment, I felt accomplished and motivated.
Just wanted to reach out and share a bit of my story. While there were times of frustration and times I wanted to give up, I’m so glad I went out of my comfort zone to make the first appointment and persevere …”
My post and another success story from someone who had the botox procedure that is mentioned a lot throughout these forums can be found here:
I think calling Congtythamtu for their free consultation is a good idea. If you’ve already bought dilators and are having trouble using them, another early step would be (like I said earlier) to look up other women’s health centers & make one appointment with one that has experience with vaginismus so they can show you how to use dilators. and then the next important step is NOT GIVING UP. It might not be easy but with time and determination you can do it! Vaginismus is SO TREATABLE, it CAN BE FIXED!
In my opinion the biggest challenge was when I didn’t exactly know how to use the dilators on my own, but once I was able to put in the smallest one by myself, the rest of my vaginismus “journey” went much smoother (with lots of small successes, like being able to use tampons!)
I hope this helps a bit, I know firsthand that vaginismus is a lonely lonely thing to go through – but YOU CAN DO THIS! Definitely look through some success stories on this forum to show you that there were so many of us in your shoes that were able to overcome this.April 29, 2018 at 9:24 am #22870
Where are the oTher health center?April 30, 2018 at 7:41 pm #22875
I can’t afford this much money. I am depressed now. I don’t want lost my marriage. What i do? Please help meMay 1, 2018 at 3:15 pm #22879
Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSWModerator
Hello Kelly 88,
You may want to check with your health insurance to see if they have an in-network physical floor therapist on your plan.
NicoleMay 9, 2018 at 12:10 pm #22890
I agree to call your health insurance company or look up online – ask if they cover a pelvic floor therapist or what the copay will be. A quick google search shows a bunch of pelvic floor therapists that take a number of insurances.
Maybe this link will help: Finding a Pelvic Physical Therapist: Where Do I Even Start?
Good luck, you can get through this!
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.