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Hi all. I recently came across a November 2016 article from Infinity Magazine finally talking about vaginismus: Vaginismus: When Pain Rules Your Sex Life
It touches on what so many of us have gone through with insensitive doctors telling you to “just relax” or “have a drink” and “it’s all in your head”. This woman did not listen (thank God) and ended up receiving treatment that addressed both the physical as well as emotional aspects of the condition.
Excerpts from the article include:
“Even though my ‘first time’ had been incredibly gentle, the pain was unbearable. It didn’t get better with ‘practise’. Every time we attempted sex it felt like there was a ‘block.’ The pain was so intense we’d have to stop.
He became afraid of hurting me and I became afraid of the pain. The ‘cycle of pain’ characterises vaginismus: Sex is painful, therefore I am anxious and anticipate pain, therefore sex is painful etc. Over time the sexual side of my brain shut down and sex was just not part of my life.
Instead of suffering in silence I eventually got a referral to a physio and sex therapist who were experts in the field. They put me at ease, reassured me it was ‘not in my head’, helped me overcome psychological ‘blocks’ and work towards desensitising the physical pain.It was not an easy road and took many months of practise with ‘vaginal trainers’ (phallic objects that gently stretch the vagina) as well as weekly therapy and physio sessions. It was absolutely worth it as I now enjoy a completely pain-free sex life.”
Thanks Heather; it pains me to hear that doctors who aren’t educated about vaginismus continue to tell women that it’s all in their head. Articles like the one in Infinity Magazine are so important to give voice to this very real and treatable condition.