Learning to swim

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  • #19880
    mm
    Heather34
    Moderator

    Hi all. Recently, Nicole from Congtythamtu wrote an absolutely awesome post with an excellent analogy (please see below).

    Nicole writes: “It is as though some people think overcoming vaginimus is like learning to swim…if you just keep practicing you will figure it out. But imagine if you had never, ever been in the ocean and your were dropped right in. Doesn’t sound like much fun does it? And you would probably never, ever want to go into the water again. Women with vaginismus cannot control the tightness in their vaginas, and are often unaware of it, so the first attempt at intercourse is often a surprise when it is painful both physically and emotionally. Trying and trying again is like being thrown into the ocean again and again without any guidance. Many women become so fearful of intercourse that they simply give up trying to have sex. Who wants to feel pain when they expect pleasure? As noted above there is no need to suffer. As many people need swimming lessons to swim, women with vaginismus need help, Help is available and no matter how “tight” you might think you are, dilation and/or Botox work wonderfully. Please do not suffer, or be ashamed, we are here to help.”

    I think this is such an excellent analogy. Without getting help and with listening to the vaginismus myth: just keep trying, this reinforces the pain/fear cycle.

    #20641
    mm
    Helen Leff, LMSW
    Moderator

    I just reread this post and can’t say enough about getting help when sex is painful. Painful sex can be cured but the cure is not to keep trying to have intercourse. Actually, we encourage non intercourse sex but tell our patients not to attempt intercourse until they are pain free. This is because we want to break the pain/fear cycle.

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