Dilating frustration

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  • #9297

    passion_flower
    Participant

    I progressed pretty quickly on my dilators and have been able to get the biggest in for the last two months but it is incredibly painful upon insertion and I’m worried I have reached a plateau. I don’t know how long I should keep them in for or how often but I usually use them at the weekend and keep it in for about 10 minutes.

    I keep telling myself no pain no gain and I really have to force myself to do it. Part of me wishes I had something that was operable here so I could get a quick fix and not have to do this, of course there is the Botox programme but it’s expensive especially being in the UK and there are no clinics over here. Maybe I am expecting too much too soon? I don’t know.

    #13520
    Dr. Pacik
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    The Botox multimodal program of Botox injections and progressive dilation-all under anesthesia, combined with post procedure counseling and support with follow up makes the treatment process easier and faster. For those who dilate on their own, one has to be perseverent with the dilators, progressing slowly from the small to the larger dilators. The muscles need to stretch, and this cannot be rushed.
    Please refer to to get a better idea of how to progress with dilators. You can also read the book written by Heather Jeffcoat, DPT “Sex Without Pain.

    #13522

    heatherjeffcoatdpt
    Participant

    As you are working on getting the largest size pain-free, feel very proud that you are this far and were able to get there on your own. Women often report this plateau on the largest size. You are likely just missing some more active stretching techniques for your pelvic floor muscles, which could be the key to you becoming pain-free.
    In my approach, I believe that simply inserting a dilator for 10 minutes at a time isn’t the best way to stretch these muscles. Think about other muscles in your body…would you stretch your neck and hold it for 10 minutes? I don’t believe your vaginal/pelvic floor muscles should be treated any differently than other muscles in your body. They will respond quicker if you approach them more like they are muscles (because they are). I’ve outlined a series of stretches you can do, in an order that gets the muscles responding quickly to the dilators, in my book (Thank you for the mention, Dr. Pacik). I’m a physical therapist and use my orthopaedic background to get women’s muscles quickly on a healing path and pushing past plateaus such as the one you have reached. Since you’ve mainly been inserting and holding, there are many other ways you can use your dilators that will likely lead to you achieving pain-free intercourse as well. I would try these out and you will likely achieve your goals.

    #13525

    Janet Pacik
    Participant

    Heather Jeffcoat’s book “Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide To The Sex Life You Deserve” can be purchased on-line through Amazon. Dr. Pacik highly recommends this book.

    #13593

    passion_flower
    Participant

    I just want to say thanks for recommending Heather’s book. I read it and have been following the dilating exercises and was able to have sex without using a dilator and it was pain-free which is something I doubted could ever happen at one time.

    #13602

    heatherjeffcoatdpt
    Participant

    Thank you for the follow-up. I am so glad to hear that the program worked for you! I want to commend you on hanging in there and completing the full program. It is understandable to want a quick fix, but those that stick through the program will be rewarded at the end with all their goals met. Not just “tolerable” sex, but actually pain-free as you have reported. Congratulations.

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