Another Success Story

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  • #22725
    mm
    mazemelissa
    Moderator

    Hi Forum,

    I recently received an email from a patient who had the Botox procedure in November. She talks about the confidence that over coming vaginismus can give someone. Even when the sex itself is not so satisfying. I feel like I see that a lot as well. When couples with vaginismus first start having intercourse, it can take some time for it to not feel awkward, uncomfortable, and even unpleasant. For many women who have vaginismus, the pleasure from intercourse takes time to achieve, but just being able to have intercourse without pain is a major accomplishment.

    Here is her email:

    The team at Congtythamtu and YOU have completely changed my outlook on life. Before sex I felt like a misfit. I knew there was something wrong with me but I thought it was something I would never be able to fix.

    I had ordered books, dilators and given advice from several OBGYNs. Medical staff gave me the advice to drink a lot of whiskey to loosen me up, dilate more, take 2mg of Ativan, valium, etc. Nothing worked. Nothing. I remember how proud I was when I finally got a tampon in (with a ton of lube) and that took 30 minutes of work. I also remember how I felt when my first dilator went in. Each of those tasks were monumental, but no where close to where I needed to be. Anything larger hurt, there was no way to move up slowly to something bigger.

    It took years for my boyfriend, now husband, to understand. In the early years he made break up threats thinking that this is something I could control and I was just too nervous to go through with it. One day he finally got it. He may not be perfect in every way, but no human is perfect. When my friends would say something about him I would think about how great he was to me about everything and how he dealt with my Vaginismus. I could never tell them though, out of embarrassment. He may still not get it completely, but he now knows something was definitely wrong and I wasn’t making up the pain.

    We had a shot gun wedding for other reasons, obviously not pregnancy, before my procedure. Since we were officially married I figured it was time to officially have sex. I had the procedure done and the first two days I thought it was going to be unsuccessful because how sore I was inside.

    Fast forward a month or so later. We were on vacation and he gave me the engagement ring on the beach I had never gotten since the wedding was so fast. Two days later we had sex for the first time. It wasn’t magical, it was actually unsuccessful. The next day we tried again and It was successful for him but not me.

    It’s still a work in progress and still isn’t super enjoyable, but it has given me a more confident outlook.

    We also plan on having an actual wedding ceremony now which I was totally against before because I didn’t think I was worthy of one since I couldn’t even consummate the marriage.

    I can’t thank you enough! This did more for my self confidence than my relationship.

    Also if this is all over the place I am sorry! Super sleepy but wanted to send you an email.

    Thank you again!

    Sent from my iPhone

    #22758
    recessivegenequeen
    recessivegenequeen
    Participant

    Hi Melissa, thanks for sharing this success story! I identify with this woman – at first, the gain in self confidence and a feeling of normalcy were the huge changes after getting my procedure. The good sex came later! The confidence is something that will help you for the rest of your life – congratulations to this woman on all her progress and on the excitement her future has in store!

    #22832
    Sks823
    Sks823
    Participant

    Love this empowering – and realistic – success story. I know that she’ll be able to have enjoyable sex with more practice! Her confidence must be through the roof 🙂

    The feelings of unworthiness (“We also plan on having an actual wedding ceremony now which I was totally against before because I didn’t think I was worthy of one since I couldn’t even consummate the marriage.”) are all too common for vaginismus sufferers. So sad, but I’m soooo glad she can see her true worth now, thanks to Congtythamtu!

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