Table For Two

The idea of mindfulness, staying present, and creating meaningful moments has exploded, proliferating across many fields. While browsing a home design site, I came upon Sati Tala, which means “a mindful surface”. Tany Jarus, a design student created a new intimate dining table for her final project. It consists of stools and a wooden table …

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Shift Happens

Sometimes relationship issues manifest in a dramatic, easy-to-see fashion. But in many cases they don’t and it can take time to notice the degree to which things have changed.  I often hear couples talk about “living like roommates”; sharing living quarters, expenses, and in some cases, children, but connecting to each other in a way …

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What’s Wrong?

A recent article was published in the New York Times that I found really interesting.   It’s called “Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person”; catchy title, I know, but I don’t think it’s a depressing read. The premise of the article is basically that we go into relationships with unrealistic expectations of love, marriage and …

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LOVE, NOT SO BLIND

A young patient at Congtythamtu Women’s Health is perplexed that the passion she had felt early in her marriage has cooled. What happened to the strolls under perfect skies and the rides to the stars?  Psychologist Israel Charny sees “normal” marriage as a relationship intrinsically laden with conflict and considers husbands and wives to be each other’s “intimate enemies.”  We have to compromise …

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Invest for Success

The perpetual challenge of achieving work/life balance is an issue that is relevant to many.  It comes up frequently here, not just in the stresses that bring people to treatment but even in the mere scheduling of appointments.   I recently read a moving speech given by Kim Clark, former Dean of Harvard Business School, …

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GO TO BED ANGRY!!

I read an interesting article that Terry Real wrote disputing the maxim of not going to bed angry. On a certain level, it makes sense to resolve a problem so that your mind can be free and clear to enjoy a hopefully good night’s sleep.  However, there are many advances in brain science and we now …

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Marriage math.

John Gottman is one of the most well-known couples therapist. He has an institute in Seattle and has done enormous amounts of research on what makes couples successful. Gottman has found, “that marriages fall into the danger zone for divorce when the ratio of positive to negative interactions falls below five to one. Just by …

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