Asexuality.

The concept of asexuality first came to my attention a few months ago when I began to see a young woman who was struggling with the fact that she felt no desire to be sexual. As a teenager she felt ostracized from having no interest in sex of any kind. Her girlfriends were all talking …

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Adversity and desire.

It happens all the time. A tearful, distraught woman sits down and informs us that: Her husband is leaving her/has left her. Her husband is having/was having an affair. She believes this is due to the fact that they haven’t had sex in (you fill in the blank: 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 …

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I’ve been converted.

At the Medical Center I recently saw a patient who had rarely used vibrators. She came to see us to try to improve her orgasms, which had become weaker and taking her longer to achieve. We often see this in women as they age; sometimes it is a shift in hormones, which we can address, …

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A good day at our center.

Someone once asked me what makes a good day at our center. Today is one of those days. Today I got an email with a copy of a baby picture from a patient who struggled for 2 years with vaginismus. She is fine, having great sex and has a beautiful little baby girl to prove …

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Desire or “I want you!”

“I want you.” Three simple words, but somehow they seem nearly impossible to define. Desire can be very complex and often seems mysterious to us. It appears as a magical equation of attraction mixed with physical attributes, eroticism, passion, simple physical need, or love. And when desire is not there, in its place there is …

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Online dating in “The New Yorker.”

The recent article on online dating in The New Yorker by Nick Paumgarten was most interesting for its research. I had never heard about the history of online dating, and I was certainly not aware of the complicated algorithms that underpin the search process. He explained it all in a really interesting and accessible way. …

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Not every woman loves vaginal intercourse best.

Here’s the real deal. Many women love vaginal intercourse. Many women can take it or leave it. Some women love intercourse. They say it makes them feel close to their partner and that it feels amazing. But some women don’t love intercourse. They prefer oral sex, or when their partner uses his hands or vibrator. …

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Does infidelity keep us together?

In a recent article in the New York Times magazine, writer Mark Oppenheimer poses that maybe infidelity does keep marriages together. The article is pegged to the Weiner, Spitzer and Schwarzenegger scandals. After watching these cases in the media, Oppenheimer wonders if the American relationship to fidelity is really working. He bases much of the …

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Sex and The Supreme Court.

Yet once again, in a recent supreme court decision, we see the absurd double standard in America regarding sex vs. violence. Slicing, dicing, and maiming in a video game is protected by free speech laws but nudity? No way! What is wrong with us when shooting a breast is perfectly acceptable (as long as the …

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