The crazy things that happen to our patients.

We have this great patient who should really be doing stand-up comedy. Whenever she is in our office she has some new and funny story to share. She was having significant vaginal pain when she came to see us and had been misdiagnosed by her OB/GYN so nothing was helping. Our NP picked up that …

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36 questions that lead to love.

I found this article in The New York Times very interesting. A reporter wrote about a study from 1997 by psychologist Arthur Aron.  Aron had succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. He had succeeded by having the two strangers ask each other a series of questions, 36 questions to be …

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Sex addiction.

We typically do not treat sexual addiction. However it is an issue that I have seen often in my work as a couples therapist. When an individual or spouse is struggling with sexual addiction and trying to understand what is happening I often suggest the book Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes. It can …

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Is it really just a phase?

“It’s just a phase”; an expression that after some digging, you’ll likely find anything from hope, relief, to total denial. By nature, relationships go through phases. From the time a relationship begins, it will experience countless phases over time and there will be a variety of the types of phases that are encountered.  When a …

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Sex ed: USA vs Europe.

I know we’ve all read about the contrast between American sex education and European Sex education, and here is another article on the subject. But it’s short and clear and makes the point effectively: Europeans tend to” normalize” sex; Americans tend to “dramatize” it. The fundamental idea is worth remembering. It’s not so much what …

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Happy new year 2015: you come first!

When I first started working at the Center, most of my patients would tell me they waited 2-3 years to make an appointment after learning about us. They would often tell me that they put their sexual health low on the totem pole but after walking through out doors they wished they had come in …

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LinkedUp: A new dating app.

As a sex therapist I spend a lot of time counseling single people about how to find good partners. That’s gotten a lot easier since online dating has radically increased the number of people to choose from. But online dating has its disadvantages. It’s great if you’re just looking for a hookup or casual fling. …

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Let’s talk about sex.

I treat many women with different issues from low desire to painful intercourse. One issue that women seem to struggle a great deal with is feeling insecure or inadequate. This can have a profound impact on one’s sexuality because instead of feeling confident and positive, when these things surface it often shuts a woman down. …

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Time doesn’t heal all wounds.

That’s like SO five years ago. — “Clueless” (1995) But does it FEEL like it was five years ago? (or ten or twenty or fifty…) In my work integrating EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing therapy) with therapy patients, the results repeatedly highlight the reality that time does not heal all wounds. You can have an experience …

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Naked hour.

As usual I got a great idea from one of my patients today. She and her husband have been struggling sexually. He’s had a hard time holding his erection. She’s having terrible pain every time they have intercourse and like so many other couples they are just plain having difficulty finding time for sex. But…a …

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