The Pain of Vaginismus

Vaginismus is a condition where a woman can’t get a penis into her vagina. It can be mild… so mild that often-time she can get a penis in the vagina for very short periods but it’s unpleasant and painful. Or it can be severe, so severe that she can’t touch herself near her vagina, can’t …

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Shift Happens

Sometimes relationship issues manifest in a dramatic, easy-to-see fashion. But in many cases they don’t and it can take time to notice the degree to which things have changed.  I often hear couples talk about “living like roommates”; sharing living quarters, expenses, and in some cases, children, but connecting to each other in a way …

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Will Routine Pelvic Exams Continue To Be Routine?

I recently read an article in NYTimes.com by Roni Caryn Rubin, entitled “Pelvic Exams May Not Be Needed”. I have always embraced the belief that less is more, but not necessarily when it comes to health and disease prevention. This article analyzes the pros and cons of pelvic exams. It is currently standard that gyn …

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The Birds and the Bees

I often listen to the Podcast, This American Life. If you haven’t ever heard it, I encourage you to try it. Each episode consists of three sections which revolve around one general theme. The stories are often riveting, the reporting excellent and often I learn something new. A recent episode, entitled The Birds and the …

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De-Stress

With all the tragedies in the news lately, it’s hard not to crawl up in a ball and hide under our covers. Feelings of stress and impotence abound. When we are anxious, we feel more threatened by any challenges confronting us. When we are extremely distressed, our bodies may shut down – to the point where we are …

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Voices of Vaginismus

Vaginismus is not usually the kind of condition you learn about from a Facebook status, a social event, or in some cases, even a trip to the doctor.    It typically exists in silence.  In our Vaginismus Forum, there are frequently posts from women sharing not just about the pain of living with unresolved vaginismus, …

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Yes Mike, there is a G –Spot.

Last week, while teaching a basic HIV prevention class to a group of 8th  graders it came to question time and a hand immediately went up from the back of the class, stretched as high as possible. I expected one of the usual questions: “Is it better to use 2 condoms? Where does HIV come …

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Helping Women Learn to be Their Best Authentic Selves

Most of the advice and information about female sexuality found on the internet and in the media depicts love, relationships and sex as “movie romance”. It’s just not real. And often I find myself spending time with patients trying to help them understand that, in real life, relationships and sex are often messy, complicated, funny, …

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What’s Wrong?

A recent article was published in the New York Times that I found really interesting.   It’s called “Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person”; catchy title, I know, but I don’t think it’s a depressing read. The premise of the article is basically that we go into relationships with unrealistic expectations of love, marriage and …

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Putting Pleasure into Sex Education

My younger patients, twenty and under, are often confused and seem a little uncomfortable when I ask them about their “Desire” for sex.  Their answers include: “fine,” or “ok.”  I will then try and make them more comfortable and normalize the idea that sexual desire is a normal and healthy part of life. Many women …

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