Let’s Talk

Lately I’m seeing a lot of women struggling with the issue of how to broach the fact that they have pain with sex to a new partner. Despite their hesitation, they feel a strong need to bring the matter to light. Perhaps this is because more of us are becoming comfortable talking about sex even …

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Brain Power

Our brains deserve credit for much of our sexual functioning. Once underlying physiological factors are addressed, we need to exercise the pleasure centers in the brain to boost libido and arousal. How do we do this? Reading erotica and engaging in fantasy are known to positively foster sexuality. They are vehicles that allow us to …

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Ask Away

Are we asking each other enough questions and are we truly listening to the answers? You know how when you pass by someone and ask, “How are you?” you walk on assuming they have answered “Fine”? Kalina Silverman ran a research project named Big Talk and concluded that we need to skip the small talk …

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Confidence

On the TV show Inside The Actors Studio, one of the questions host James Lipton asks is “What is your favorite word?” When I play along, I must admit it’s hard for me to narrow down a favorite. Some days I’ll think my word is hope, other days it’s flexibility, but today I’m choosing confidence. …

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Feelings……………….

Feelings have been the subject of poems, songs, dance, stories, books, movies and yet fully experiencing our feelings can be a mystery to us. Blame and criticism can inhibit our ability to feel our feelings. How we should and shouldn’t be feeling is a frequent refrain in our heads. Feelings are just what they are …

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Judy Blume and Puberty

Judy Blume’s 1970 classic “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” is being adapted into a movie. Woohoo! I am one of the women for whom this sweet, funny, authentic story about preteenhood was a lifesaver. This book is like a good friend who is there to normalize our experience and to ease the anxiety …

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#SpeakUp

Millions of us were glued to the TV when Dr. Christine Blasey Ford told her story. During the hearing, phone numbers flashed across our screens. These phone numbers were for sexual assault hotlines. The number of calls these hotlines were receiving increased during and after Dr. Ford’s hearing. Hashtags were created and they continue to …

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The Other Side of the Bed

I remember visiting my future mother in law in her home for the first time. I noticed in her bedroom how one side of the bed was stripped bare while the other side was fully made. She had been widowed for a few years and that reality was highlighted by the stark sight of the …

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Quality Over Quantity

At Congtythamtu Women’s Health we treat many women whose chief complaint is low desire. Some women have experienced a slow decline in libido for years, whereas for others it’s almost like a light switch suddenly turned off. Regardless of the onset, in both groups of women I often hear that their partner would ideally want …

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Partners in Vaginismus

It is common these days for a pregnant woman who is part of a couple to say “we’re pregnant”! Some people snicker and roll their eyes in response to this. True, her body is housing and will be laboring to have the baby, but “the couple” is having a baby. When a woman in a …

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