More and more we understand that the brain is elastic. When you are getting “better” at a skill it is not only because you are learning that particular skill but because you are actually expanding parts of the brain. When you are working on learning something new, say a certain type of math, you will be activating more neurons and neurotransmitters and making that part of the brain “more fit.” And there is no reason that shouldn’t be true about the erotic part of your brain as well. That is, the parts that “light up” and are activated during sexual arousal, can also be “exercised” so they function more quickly, or efficiently, or strongly when you want them to.
What does that mean to you? It means that even if you believe that you are a person who does not get interested or aroused by sexual stories, images or fantasies, you can probably improve that significantly if you practice. I do know it sounds funny. I need to “practice” to get turned on? But yes, I think that’s true. And I’ve seen it work.
If you want to get your erotic brain charged, start by reading some erotic stories. See what things might turn you on, even just a little. Then focus on those things more and use your brain to create images, or stories that take that small “turn-on” and expand it. Use your brain to create something that turns you on a little more. And then do it again. And again. It may be frustrating at first, but even with a little bit of work, women often find that the situation improves fairly quickly. And don’t think you should only be doing this when you want to have sex. Exercise your brain during the day, anytime you have the chance. Notice a sexy image on a billboard? Stop and play with it in your head. Someone flirts with you a little? Build a whole sexy scene out of it in your head. See if you can get aroused. Remember, you don’t have to “do something” with the turn on. Just notice it. And enjoy it.
I think you might find, like many of our patients do, that once your erotic brain has a chance to breath, stretch, expand, it gets easier and easier to get turned on when you want to. And that’s a big for your sex life.
So go ahead, exercise your erotic brain.