I am not sure where the myth came from that it is normal or “okay” for sex to “hurt.” I am sure I could take stab at it from a feminist angle, but right now I am more concerned about dispelling the myth.
Sex should be associated with positive physical and feelings. If you are not only not experiencing those feelings, but pain, it might be time to look for help. One of the main causes of painful sex is vaginismus. Vaginismus is a condition where there is involuntary tightness of the vagina during attempted intercourse. The tightness is caused by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. The woman does not directly control or ‘will’ the tightness to occur; it is an involuntary pelvic response. She may not even have any awareness that the muscle response is causing the tightness or penetration problem. In some cases, vaginismus tightness may begin to cause burning, pain, or stinging during intercourse. In other cases, penetration may be difficult or completely impossible.
If you are suffering from any of the above, you may have vaginismus. Please check out our on-line vaginismus support group, and please help dispel the myth that sex it is okay for sex to hurt.