January 30, 2018 at 3:51 am #22442
I am 21 years old and found out about my diagnosis when I was 18. I went to PT for one year and tried to dilate on my own unsuccessfully with liquid and gel lidocaine and buckets of lube. I have also done talk therapy and yoga and massage. I’ve also had a laser treatment for vestibulitis as well. I have also had doctors tell me at age 18 to loosen up and drink wine (Oh what we go through to figure out our bodies!)
I recently underwent a Botox procedure under anesthesia a month and a half ago. It appears that the Botox has already worn off, and I waited too long to get started dilating due to fear of failure (ironic how that fear of failure actually brings about failure LOL). I moved up maybe to the 3rd dilator (Pure Romance set) but couldn’t get anything in further than 3 inches even when Botox was active. Now nothing will go in and the muscles are rock hard & I just end in tears with each session. I also feel myself clenching throughout the day and it seems to be a stress response (can anyone relate?!)
Anyway I will most likely be having this procedure again, but this time I will be asking my gyn to inject me with lidocaine, do progressive dilation, and wake up with the largest dilator inside. Is there a place I can find what the dilating schedule is like directly after the procedure? I’m wondering if my deeper muscles inside need Botox too? Do you ladies recommended that I go to my PT maybe the first few days after the Botox and the following weeks? I would love to do the MAZE procedure but can’t afford it on a college student’s budget when I live cross country, and my gyn has offered to do it much cheaper. If this procedure and plan doesn’t work, I think coming to MAZE will be my last resort 😪
Thanks for any help! Much love to everyone suffering through this trying issue 💓💜January 30, 2018 at 4:03 pm #22443
21withV – I did go to Congtythamtu for vaginismus treatment, but I don’t have experience with the Botox procedure so I’ll let someone else with more relevant experience help, but I’ll do my best with what I can help with :).
I just wanted to give you a shout-out for getting treatment on your own and at 21 years old – that’s amazing! It seems like you have gotten far in your treatment and you seem super determined, so I wouldn’t at all be discouraged by the first attempt. You *DID* make progress; getting to the 3rd dilator (even if not all the way in) is definitely progress.
To answer your “schedule” question, from some of the other posts, I read that daily dilating is a good idea beginning right after the procedure. Some questions and tips from Congtythamtu staff about post-procedure dilation are here:
As for having trouble moving up in size, Cathleen writes: “What you need to do is go back to a size that you can fit in, and work with that dilator. After using that dilator, go up in a size and just keep working with it. If you can just get the tip in that’s ok. The next time, after dilating with the smaller one, try to use that dilator again, see if you can get in a few mm more.”
Seems like as general rules, posts say: consistent (daily if possible, even if only 10-15 min.) dilating is key, and when you feel pretty comfortable with a dilator, try to move up in size – even if you can’t get it all the way in. Always dilate with the previous size before trying the next one.
I think going to your PT the first few days after Botox might be a good idea to make sure you’re getting some help dilating… also, since I read that waking up with the largest dilator inside is a key component of Congtythamtu’s procedure, if your gyn can do that I would DEFINITELY say to do it!
Also, I know from my experience that coconut oil as lube with dilators helped me a LOT!
I know that you’ll get over your vaginismus – we’re all here for you and there are endless tips & lots of support on these forums!January 30, 2018 at 5:42 pm #22451
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response and for the encouragement! I always appreciate it. I agree that PT would be best after the Botox treatment. Thank you for your tips on dilating. I definitely know it’s something I should still be working on in the meantime, even if I’m impatient with the results. And thank you for the link as well! I’m curious to see what others have to say! Best of luck to you!January 31, 2018 at 8:44 pm #22456
21withV – first off, I want to reiterate what Sks823 said and congratulate you on being so young and taking control of your vaginismus! I figured out my vaginismus situation when I was 21 and it took me until 25 to get treatment. It’s hard, but you’re facing it, and that’s an amazing step to take!
I’m so sorry to hear about your first botox procedure not working the way you wanted it to – I know that must have been incredibly frustrating for you. I received the botox procedure at Congtythamtu so I can speak pretty knowledgeably to what it’s like and what about it worked. I think if your doctor is willing to insert the largest dilator while you are anesthetized, that is going to be a HUGE part of your progress. It’s funny because I read about the procedure extensively before receiving it, and one part that really stood out to me was that so many women had said something to the effect of “Waking up with that large dilator inside me caused me to realize that my vagina was normal and perfectly capable of being penetrated.” I read this so many times and effectively knew it was going to happen but even so, when it happened to ME, I was so surprised by how true it felt. I think this part of the treatment is SO key. The knowledge that your vagina is capable of being occupied by the largest dilator is a cold hard piece of logic you can hold up to your brain to prove it wrong when it tries to tell you you’re trapped and that you’ll always be like this. Your brain is wrong about that, and this is the proof.
As for a dilation schedule: DAILY! This is so important, as is getting started with dilating immediately after getting the botox. The botox is helpful for several reasons, but it’s not a silver bullet – it’s doing its best work when it aids you in doing the daily work of dilating. And believe me, I know that it’s work. But you’re putting in effort now for huge rewards later in the form of peace of mind and a less complicated sex life.
Please do keep coming back if you have questions – we are so happy to help and encourage. You’ve shown a lot of nerve so far and I know you are capable of putting vaginismus behind you once you can get a good treatment that works for you!
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